Enjoy dating for what it is, dating. It is meeting people and socializing and spending time in the company of stimulating individuals who may or may not bring you a sparkle. The fact is, most people are interesting and whilst you may not be out there looking for new friends, you may well find one or two fabulous people along the way.

| Why Should I Place a Personal Ad? | How to Write a Personal Ad - For Men | How to Write a Personal Ad - For Women | Contacting Women Online | Sample Personal Ad | Internet Dating Safety Precautions | Background Checks | Meeting in Person |

Why Place a Personal?

Internet Dating is achieving wild popularity amongst net-wise singles, and for good reason. Placing a personal ad is free, requires little effort and quickly yields numerous responses. During a "first date" or cyber-introduction, there's no need to wash the chariot, trim the locks, don the finery, or plunk down bags of gold for an impressive feast. Come simply as you are, right now, and start sharing yourself, mind to mind, heart to heart, and find the soul mate you seek.

There are literally millions of singles seeking partners via the Net. If you are able to travel the planet freely in search of your soul mate, you may choose to conduct a global search. You may also spend MONTHS reading all those ads! Or, you can restrict your search to your hometown and meet someone in person sooner. Do you want to meet a flaxen-haired, 27 year old female of Russian heritage in Vancouver, BC? Plug in your preferences and start perusing those photos! Too restrictive and you limit your options. Thirty-five year old, Jamaican astronauts in Fiji are difficult to locate, period. Perhaps you'll find an Olympic bob sled team member there instead. It doesn't hurt to look!

One advantage to AYCE(All You Can E.mail) is the opportunity to learn much about a person before meeting face-to-face. How do they present themselves in writing? Is he/she articulate, interesting, charming, knowledgeable and courteous? Does she sound as lovely as she looks? Deep, intimate and lasting friendships may be formed when mind-to-mind, heart-to-heart and soul-to-soul connections are established before meeting in person.

If a man e.mail's you volumes of heartfelt prose and poetry everyday for two or three months, chances are he's interested in more than a casual affair. He may also be unemployed with too much unproductive time on his hands, or be afraid of making a more concrete connection. Ask questions and trust your intuition. Written exchange also allows you to 'look before you leap' into the physical realm and may limit the possibility of proceeding with haste when lust overwhelms rational thought.

Pictures are worth a thousand words. Add a photo and/or a voice sample and get noticed! Many members use the 'photos only' option to search, and your ad may be overlooked by Mr. or Ms. Right if your picture is not on file. You may upload a photo, or mail it in for scanning. Either option is free. Thet will want to know what you look like, and better that they find out sooner than later that you truly are as gorgeous / handsome as you say. If she's a mountain-biking, rock-climbing, ski-racing athlete looking for same, she won't waste your time and encourage disappointment when she sees you are a member of the 'high-colesterol eat-three-large-pizzas-a-day' gourmet club. You WILL attract the lady who wants to join your club though!

Be proud of who you are and show yourself!

'Voice' is another method to put yourself out there. Upload a voice bite of up to five minutes in length. Make them swoon over your dulcet tones, laugh heartily at your grand wit, marvel at your superior intelligence, and start getting responses!

Sounds easy, right? It is, but there are a few things to consider before rushing off to place your ad. Demographic polls indicate that men significantly outnumber women online. Men's ads should be written to stand out amongst the competition and get attention! Women's ads must specify qualities and attributes sought, or risk generating more mail than there is time in a day to read, let alone time to respond to. Read How to Write Effective Personal Ads and Email for men and for women to get responses and meet the person of your dreams sooner.

How to Write a Personal Ad - For Men.

The most frequent complaints men mention when asked about internet dating is that women don't respond to their ads or their email. You can avoid both these problems by following a few simple guidelines while writing both your free ad and your responses to women's ads.

See a real ad which has generated several hundred responses in a few short months!

Guidelines - How to Write Effective Personal Ads
l) BE HONEST. The fastest way to ruin what might have been a beautiful friendship is to lie. Hide the fact that you are a single father of 5 year-old triplets, and miss a chance to find the woman who wants to love them and share your parental joys.

Dishonesty will always be caught sooner or later. Allow others to make informed decisions about what they will and will not accept, based on an honest representation of yourself.

As a fit person you would likely be disappointed to learn that the woman you've been writing for the last month weighs 250 pounds, and not l25 as stated. She may feel likewise to learn you are the UK Prime Minister, and not the sole object of your adoration!

Be truthful and avoid the pain, heartache, disappointment and separation caused by dishonesty. Open yourself to incredible happiness by allowing others to love you as you are, for who you are.

2) CREATE A 'GRABBER'. A 'grabber' is an attention-getting headline which stands out above the rest and demands to be read. There are many, many 'DWM's, 44, seeking love' out there. Be different, even if you ARE a 'DWM, 44, seeking love'.

Check out the competition. What attracts your attention to their ads? Note those which stand out have clarity and are original, personal, and direct. What can you say about yourself in a single sentence which makes you irresistible to the opposite sex?

If you truly seek love and long-term commitment, comments here about length, size and shape of 'physical' attributes are a turn-off to women who seek men of intellectual, emotional, and spiritual substance. Pornographic headlines are not accepted into the database. If you are well-endowed with a fabulous sense of humour, use it! Nothing attracts so quickly as laughter and goodwill.

3) BE SPECIFIC. You know who you are and what you want, tell them about it! Almost everyone seems to enjoy 'moonlit walks, candlelight dinners, and strolls on the beach'. Be specific about values held and sought, in addition to naming hobbies and interests. If you know your soul mate is a Buddhist, say so. If you are adamant about remaining childless, convey that too. State your willingness to travel. The woman in Paris may not respond when she notes you live in Rio, if you fail to mention that geographic location is no barrier. What is your personal mantra? Share it. The woman who understands and appreciates it best, is the one who will reply.

4) BE POSITIVE. Let your natural exuberance and zest for life shine through in your writing. Negativity repels. You may elicit an offer from a counseling service if you project a woebegone, or suicidal attitude, but you probably won't attract your soul mate.

5) BEST FOOT FORWARD. You wouldn't (hopefully) show up on a first date unwashed and unkempt, would you? Likewise, if your spelling skills are somewhat lacking, consult a dictionary before submitting your otherwise artfully crafted and well-thought-out ad.

6) BE HONEST, BE HONEST, BE HONEST. One aspect which cannot be over-stated!!

Your skillfully written, heartfelt and humorous ad is complete and posted online, but don't stop there!! Why wait for someone to seek you out, when you can increase your chances multi-fold by responding to all the women who spark your interest?

Want to know how to RESPOND to a woman's ad and get results? Click here!

How to Write a Personal Ad - For Women.

Ladies, prepare to be deluged with more suitors than you ever dreamed possible! The Internet is still male-dominated, and this time, that's to your advantage!

Certain facts about men and women are not going to change, and that most men will look first for a pretty face, is one of them. So, if you are looking for a man who is interested in YOU...your mind, heart and spirit, in addition to your gorgeous mug, then your ad must be crafted to attract the type of man you seek.

Take a look at this example of a real personal ad which garnered several hundred responses in a few short months. Several hundred responses, MOST of whom the writer considered 'qualified'.... happy, fit, intelligent, emotionally mature, spiritual, consciously-aware professionals...exactly what she wanted. Notice that she described herself first. Knowing that compatibility is essential to successful relationships, she then described a man with a personality profile similar to hers.

So, who are you and what do you want? Think about it. Make a list of everything that is important to you. This may take some time, but time worth spending. A few hours, days or even weeks is but a mere blip in the overall scheme of things when compared to spending years in misery with an incompatible man, or a lifetime with your soul mate. Opt for the latter and do your homework!

Now you are ready to write your personal ad. Create a 'grabber', a single line, designed to attract attention to your ad. Avoid the typical, mundane 'DWF, 44, seeks partner'....you and four million others fit this description. Humour works well. Scan other ads and see which ones attract your attention.

Contacting Women Online.

These suggestions result from numerous emails and talks with women about what they will, and what they won't respond to.

1) Say Something! The following email was chuckled at and hit the bin in record time. 'Hi, my name is Sparky. I like your attitude. Tell me more.' Go beyond standard bar 'pick-up lines'.

2) Speak Directly to Her. Some men craft a single email query, and send it to numerous women. 'Form letter recipients are usually unimpressed by lack of effort, and you probably won't hear back from them. Speak directly to what she said in her ad. Note and compliment what you thought interesting, funny or entertaining. Tell her if you feel you meet all her 'qualifications' and why.

3) Give More Information Share more personal information about yourself than contained in your ad.

4) Essential Information. Include your personal ad mailbox number so she can check out your description, mug and voice. She'll respond that much sooner!

5) Patience and Persistence.Women lead busy lives! She might be out of town, her ISP server down, the computer crashed, or snowed under by kids and business paperwork for a week after you write. Wait awhile, then write back, mention your first email, and include the fact that you are really interested in her.

6) About Being Polite....Another winner...'Hi, my name is Bob. Write back if you're not a liar or a thief'. Our recipient prefered to be considered a liar AND a thief than respond to this negative approach.

7) Real Gentlemen Always... A closing statement which conveys best wishes for happiness whether she chooses to respond to your email or not, speaks volumes about the sender. It may be the one nice thing she has heard all day, and enough to generate a response for you!

There are kind, caring, loving and beautiful women out there, and one of them is waiting just for you! Best of luck and good wishes on your search, guys.

Sample Personal Ad.

The following is a REAL ad which generated several hundred responses in a few short months. The writer is a VERY happy (and busy) individual indeed!!

"A classic Sag, born in a pig year, I am happy to be me, and this site IS 'under construction' each and every day. Happiness is being in the moment, and having health, peace of mind and love. Breathing is very, very good, so are flexibility and movement. Joy is found everywhere...in family, friends, work, and play; snowflakes, clouds and mountains; bears, birds, trees and flowers; really fine Belgian truffles and an occasional black lager. Ecstasy will be connecting and becoming one with you.

You understand what I said above, who I am, what I want. You know who you are and what you want. You set goals and achieve what you want. You are fit, active, and intelligent. You enjoy a rewarding & challenging career.You embrace the dark as well as the light. You feel and express emotion freely and with sensitivity. You refuse to carry another's emotional baggage, and yet are empathetic. You speak honestly and act with integrity. You compromise only what you do, not who you are. You love yourself and want to share your wants and needs with a partner.

The light within shines in your eyes and you are radiant in every way. So am I Let's connect."

If you want to achieve similar Internet Dating success, think about what is important to you...what you want and who you are. Then start writing!

Internet Dating Safety Precautions.

Online dating can lead to off-line friendship, love and even marriage. Exchanging written correspondence, is a great way to build loving, trusting relationships. However, you could expose yourself to the risk of physical harm if you proceed without caution. You wouldn't give a stranger on the street your name, address and telephone number.. don't do it on-line! Protect yourself with the following common sense guidelines, and enjoy the start of what might become a very beautiful friendship.

Remain Anonymous

Don't give anyone online your real email address, last name, phone number, address or place of work during your early correspondence. Stop communicating with anyone who tries to pressure you into giving this information. Check with your ISP server and make sure that your Online Profile does not give out more personal information than you are comfortable with.

Use email redirection services -

Don't make the mistake I made when I started using online personal ads! Many of us use multiple signature lines for our personal and business email correspondence which include our phone numbers and addresses. I sent four 'strangers' my personal information by including my 'personal' signature line in email to them. I later learned that one of these men lives in my hometown! I was lucky, he respected my privacy. Please don't take that chance.

Nicknames - Call yourself 'Pretty Woman' and see how many men try to drag you into their private virtual hot-tub! Protect yourself against unwanted advances and use a gender-neutral nickname in chat rooms, discussion groups and on message boards.

Background Checks

Trust Your Intuition!

Before meeting anyone, check their number and details in the phone book or with directory enquires, this helps make sure people are, who they say they are and registered to a contactable address.

It is often kinder simply not to respond to someone you immediately know isn't your type, than to cultivate an online relationship out of politeness and later let them down. If your online correspondent doesn't answer questions directly, or omits essential information, trust your better instincts and find someone you can trust. If you suspect someone is lying to you, you are probably correct. Don't waste time trying to elicit the truth from them. Accept that they are dishonest, and not likely to change. Drop correspondence with those who do not accept or question your feelings. Relationships are built on honesty, respect and acceptance. Settle for nothing less!

Trouble-shooting
Do not reply to mean-spirited and nasty email. With luck, ignoring the sender will send them and their desperate attempts for attention elsewhere. If not, save their emails and forward them to your ISP or their ISP and ask them for help to get the person to cease and desist. If you've released no identifying information about yourself to this person, use a mail filter to send their trash, to the trash.

Cyber-stalking- CyberAngels' primary goal is to educate new and inexperienced users in all aspects of Internet safety awareness, click here to read their web site.

Get References before Meeting Off-line.

Ask for references from your friend's work, friends and family. Honest people will have no objection to this request, and will appreciate that you are 'playing it smart and safe'. Verify their place of employment. For example, if they tell you they are an 'internationally published author', ask for titles and publishers and confirm their assertion. If you are unable to verify any details about your online buddy, trust your better judgment and move on.

Checks Before sharing intimate information with anyone on-line, confirm that the person you are dealing with, is the person they say they are. There are services available for checking backgrounds, please use them! Trust me, it is a disappointing shock to learn that your on-line amour is living abroad because he /she is 'wanted' by the authorities! :(

Meeting in Person

Don't allow yourself to be pressured into meeting anyone. If they threaten to terminate online correspondence if you don't meet them within a certain time frame, end your online connection. Nice people don't make threats or put pressure on people they care about.

When you do decide to meet someone whose company you enjoy online, meet in a public place and bring your friends. Your online buddy will understand and accommodate your wishes if they are honest about their intentions towards you. If during the date, you decide to go somewhere else, use your own car.

Don't agree to hiking dates or meetings in remote areas until you know someone very well. Plan a short initial meeting. If, on meeting, you know you won't be seeing this person again, sharing coffee and a little polite chat won't be as painful as spending a long day together.

Keep the date light-hearted and fun and leave as originally scheduled. Answer honestly if asked whether you'd like to get together again. Tell your friends and family where you are going, with whom, and arrange to check in with them at a specified time during the date and again when you arrive home.

If you travel to meet your on-line love, make your own hotel and car reservations and don't give out the name of your hotel. Drive yourself to the hotel,or take a taxi. Follow all of the recommendations above about meeting someone for the first time. Provide your family or friends with necessary contact information.

Getting out of Trouble

If you start feeling unsure or uncomfortable about your date, politely extricate yourself from the situation. Excuse yourself and leave by the back door if necessary. Do not hesitate to ask for help from persons nearby, call your family, friends or the police if you feel the situation warrants. Trust your judgment and don't be afraid of potential embarrassment. Better to be embarrassed than physically hurt.

If you follow all of the previous recommendations, you will feel safe and enjoy your on-line dating experience to the fullest! Be happy, find love!

Contacting a Woman

These suggestions result from numerous emails and talks with women about what they will, and what they won't respond to.

1) Say Something!The following e.mail was chuckled at and hit the bin in record time. 'Hi, my name is Sparky. I like your attitude. Tell me more.' Go beyond standard bar 'pick-up'lines.

2) Speak Directly to Her.Some men craft a single e.mail query, and send it to numerous women. 'Form letter recipients are usually unimpressed by lack of effort, and you probably won't hear back from them. Speak directly to what she said in her ad. Note and compliment what you thought interesting, funny or entertaining. Tell her if you feel you meet all her 'qualifications' and why.

3) Give More InformationShare more personal information about yourself than contained in your ad.

4) Essential Information. Include your personal ad mailbox number so she can check out your description, mug and voice. She'll respond that much sooner!

5) Patience and Persistence.Women lead busy lives! She might be out of town, her ISP server down, the computer crashed, or snowed under by kids and business paperwork for a week after you write. Wait awhile, then write back, mention your first e.mail, and include the fact that you are really interested in her.

6) About Being Polite....Another winner...'Hi, my name is Bob. Write back if you're not a liar or a thief'. Our recipient prefered to be considered a liar AND a thief than respond to this negative approach.

7) Real Gentlemen Always... A closing statement which conveys best wishes for happiness whether she chooses to respond to your e.mail or not, speaks volumes about the sender. It may be the one nice thing she has heard all day, and enough to generate a response for you!

There are kind, caring, loving and beautiful women out there, and one of them is waiting just for you! Best of luck and good wishes on your search, guys.